he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
