I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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