I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
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She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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