There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
