youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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