I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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