so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
