'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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