I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
