the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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