Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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