Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
