I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
