you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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