As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
