I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
