god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize