i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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