Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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