brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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