I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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