You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
