come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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