And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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