i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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