matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
