Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
