He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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