the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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