You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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