She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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