Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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