lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
