So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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