I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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