the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
