so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
