i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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