I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
