it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dignity is for republicans.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
