How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
