Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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