There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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