When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
