we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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