wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
