I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
