im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
