i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
