VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
