she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
