You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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