He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
