There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
