She's JV to your varsity
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
