I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
