awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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