The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
