Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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